How to Make a Christmas Wreath

Step 1: Visit craft store of your choice (I went to Michael’s, because as we established last time I love Michael’s). Buy wreath base and put lots of decorations into your basket because almost everything is 70% off. Wonder if you have too many things. Put some back. Put other things in your basket. Wonder if now is a good time to look for those cute fake succulents you always see on Pinterest. Decide maybe you want a different color scheme for the wreath. Put everything back and get other decorations. Find something not wreath related but that you’ve been looking for. Debate if you really need a cat jewelry dish. Put it back. Check your email for coupons, find a 50% off coupon. Decide you need the jewelry dish after all. Decide you also need the princess cookie cutters. Check out before you can impulse buy anything else.

Step 2: Assemble Avengers wreath purchases. Decide you want more things and dig through craft closet where you locate ribbon, a single sparkly earring that you’ve lost the match to, a broken fake pearl necklace, and a butterfly left over from your Cinderella cosplay. EDIT: According to my mom who just read this post the fake pearls are actually real pearls. My wreath just got much fancier.


Step 3: Decide you’ve earned a break and get hot chocolate.

Step 4: Randomly place things on wreath. Move around until pleased. Decide, sadly, that the reindeer does not work with the other wreath elements. Dissect the two gold bows for their ribbon.

Step 5: Break up cat fight. Tell Harry to stop trying to start fights with Jemma Jinx because she is bigger than you Harry what are you doing.

Step 6: Move things around more until pleased.

Step 7: Use thin wire to attach things to wreath. Find this to be more challenging than it ought to be.

Step 8: Mock annoying bride on Say Yes to the Dress.

Step 9: Stop cat from eating wreath.


Step 10: Hold up wreath proudly and say “Ta-da!” When Mom doesn’t hear you, say “TA-DA” louder until she turns around because you want someone to admire your wreath.

Step 11: Stick command hook to bedroom door and hang wreath.


Step 12: Stand back and admire hard work.


Stay magical readers!

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